The Wounded Abuser

How Projective Identification Enables Abuse through Casting Evil onto the Other

Projective identification (the subject of my last article) can be a core feature of abusive dynamics, because abusers often unconsciously discard disavowed feelings (shame, inferiority) onto their victims, compelling the target to embody and enact those states (Klein, 1946; Ogden, 1985).

From a developmental view, an abuser who was once dominated or shamed in childhood may internalize a “persecutory object,” which is essentially a critical, cruel parental figure. Think of an inner critic, but more aggressive. Unable to tolerate this internal threat, they evacuate those unbearable parts by forcing the victim to carry them (Bion, 1962; Kohut, 1971). In this reenactment, the abuser both defends against their own vulnerability while also communicating their hidden fears, without conscious awareness.

In pathological personality structures (particularly narcissistic and borderline disorders), projective identification organizes the self by splitting and projecting unwanted fragments into another person (Kernberg, 1975). The abuser’s grandiosity masks buried inferiority; by denigrating the victim, they coerce the other into demonstrating the very defect the abuser cannot consciously acknowledge in themselves (McWilliams, 1994; Kernberg, 1975).

Clinically, victims often report feeling “infected” by the abuser’s feelings (sadness, worthlessness, insecurity, even fury) that persist throughout the relationship, and even beyond. Recognizing this pattern can shift treatment focus from simply reducing symptoms in the victim to exploring the abuser’s unconscious enactment (Ogden, 1985). Containment and interpretation of these projections allow both parties to reclaim disavowed parts and interrupt the abusive cycle. It’s crucial to mention that unconscious motivations and processes are not intentionally enacted on others; nevertheless, it’s essential that those who experience rage from earlier experiences develop healthy outlets for expressing these overwhelming emotions (whether psychotherapy or other venues, such as exercise, etc.). The pain of the past wasn’t the victim’s fault, nor does it provide an excuse for them to create a new cycle of anguish in an unsuspecting new soul. Your abuse was never your fault, and healing is always a brave new choice.

References
Bion, W. R. (1962). Learning from experience. Heinemann.
Klein, M. (1946). Notes on some schizoid mechanisms. The International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 27, 99–110.
Kohut, H. (1971). The analysis of the self. International Universities Press.
Kernberg, O. F. (1975). Borderline conditions and pathological narcissism. Jason Aronson.
McWilliams, N. (1994). Psychoanalytic diagnosis: Understanding personality structure in the clinical process. Guilford Press.
Ogden, T. H. (1985). Projective identification and psychotherapeutic technique. Jason Aronson.