The Age of the Divided Self

The Epidemic of Digital Dissociation

It's safe to assume that most of us are aware that we are constantly surrounded by distractions. Among work, personal life, and an increasing number of digital social media profiles, our attention spans are taxed like never before. There is no clean "work/home" divide, as COVID-19 and working from home fused career with living spaces. Physical interactions and tasks are continually interrupted by notifications that draw us out of the present and into friend's birthdays, new dating site matches, and even upcoming work projects.

With this in mind, what if it's not simply our time and attention that are stretched and divided by our many distractions, but our very identity as well? Psychological research actually suggests that this fragmenting or literal "disintegration" of our personhood is likely and even commonplace. The idea of personality  "segments" which arise to complete different tasks dates back to Paul Federn¹ in the early twentieth century, and has been further refined by Onno Van Der Hart² and other trauma psychology specialists. It has gained traction as a way to understand the development of coping strategies, especially defense mechanisms. An ego state arises to respond to a fundamental human need, such as attachment or pursuit of safety³. Everyone alive possesses ego states, which are created as behavioral responses to our environment, in order to meet our needs.

Metaphorically, think of ego states as different hats a person wears in various aspects of their life. The way one acts and feels at work might be different from how they behave with friends or family⁴. These are not simply roles, but rather deeply ingrained patterns of thought and feeling. You could also view them as different apps on the same phone, that are aware of one another and draw from the same phone user data.

The important elements to remember are that an ego state is a focused, finite part of the self, often associated with a particular role, and is born in response to a new challenge or situation. Some states arise as coping behaviors that continue, and they are often tied to action system impulses such as fight/flight/freeze/fawn (people pleasing)⁵. We can think of them as aspects of personality. They are also formed by traumatic events, such as neglect and abuse, which cause dissociation, or literal dis-association of the self into modules or segments which meet basic social needs. A felt sense of numbness or disconnection is often felt at the initial time of dissociation, and may then persist in future situations which remind the person of the earlier crisis point. A pattern of: environmental trigger, freeze response/numbness, and then a switch into the familiar coping ego state could then emerge⁶.

An example would be a child who copes with an abusive parent by becoming a peacemaker and accepting all blame. In this situation, a "people pleasing" child state has emerged as a way to ensure continued affection and stability in the home. In this case, the child would default to pleasing others as a way to avoid the abuse associated with conflict.

In another scenario, a child may become a "class clown" or entertain others as a way to receive attention due to neglectful parents. Here we see that being "on" or a source of laughs and joy becomes an important personality element that the young person can employ as a way to feel a sense of belonging. Are you beginning to see how social media may factor into the creation of self-states? Ego states serve valuable purposes but can prevent emotional growth when they interfere with authentic connection. Continuing from our examples above, if someone can only respond to conflict by denying their own needs, or can only gain acceptance through humor, then their range of human experience is severely limited. In the case of the former, resentment is likely to result from constantly dismissing their own boundaries.

A key linkage between social media usage and ego state creation is just how self-states are even created: through dissociation. Dissociation is known to occur through  traumatic or life-threatening events which divides the self into ego states, but what if social media, video gaming, and livestreaming create dissociation and separate selves?

Digital meetings: the creation of flat selves?

The study "Zoomed out: digital media use and depersonalization experiences during the COVID-19 lockdown"⁷ found that increased digital media use during COVID lockdowns, specifically video e-meeting platforms (such as Zoom) and video games, correlates with higher feelings of depersonalization, a form of dissociation where one feels detached from their body and sense of self. This detachment could theoretically be linked to the formation of distinct online ego states, where the digital persona becomes dissociated from the individual's core self.

People experiencing higher depersonalization also reported enhanced vividness of negative emotions and a reduced vividness of positive emotions. Notably, the study discovered that physical exercise during lockdown correlated with lower levels of depersonalization, suggesting a decrease in  dissociative experiences.

From an ego states psychotherapy perspective, these findings suggest that heavy use of digital media may reinforce certain dissociative ego states, distancing individuals from their physical bodies. This could lead to a fragmented identity, where the digital persona and the actual self become increasingly distinct.

The mitigating role of physical activity could be interpreted as integrating and grounding, helping individuals maintain a connection with their physical and sensory experiences, thus supporting identity integration.

The authors suggest that tele-meeting platforms don't allow for the dynamic range of human communication. Disengagement and detachment while using e-meeting platforms may result in a mediated, thin ego state that is a bare representation of the actual, multidimensional human being behind the computer screen. This theme of disembodiment and reduction of the self into thin, flat representations or "performed selves" is important to remember.

The Dissociative Trance of Social Media Use

So far, we've learned about the disembodying effect of online video communication and how it can increase vividness of negative emotions, leaving users potentially feeling "in their heads" more than present in their surroundings⁸. We now turn our attention to the dissociative power of social media use. The study "I Don't Even Remember What I Read" informs us that social media reading is a form of "normative dissociation," which includes such familiar experiences as losing yourself in thought while driving (highway hypnosis)  or becoming engrossed in a book to the exclusion of your external environment⁹. These are simply parts of daily human life, and can even allow for creative problem solving, as is the case with daydreaming. However, social media platforms are engineered to increase time scrolling and to therefore extend the dissociative experience for the maximum time possible.  According to the same study, normative dissociation, including social media use, entails reduced sense of willful choice, sense of time, self-awareness, and even memory of the activity (scrolling, posting), so regardless of initial willfulness of the social media use, the impact upon ability to stay present and maintain a sense of continuity is severely impacted. It's notable that the dissociative state was present in both readers and posters of social media content, indicating that both forms of media use result in a disconnection from the present moment and loss of self-awareness.

This, along with the dissociative impact of e-meeting programs and video gaming echo the thoughts of early internet psychology researcher John Suler, who described dissociation from self as a key factor in online disinhibition, particularly the display of antisocial, toxic behavior. It is worth highlighting that Suler wrote about this topic in 2004, years before the widespread usage of video meeting software and rise online influencers. He contended that dissociative anonymity (concealment of true identity and compartmentalization of new digital identity) and dissociative imagination (development of the digital self) are factors in the disinhibition of online behavior¹⁰. This is easily seen in the antagonistic arguing of social media sites like X, but also in online prank videos and tiktok skits, where influencers are main characters in their own channels and livestreams. This lens of the self as an internet personality is overlaid upon actual reality, often to the bewilderment of onlookers.

Shattered Self Syndrome

Suler predicted the power of anonymity and digital identity to literally dissociate the core, three-dimensional self into attributes (i.e. humor/beauty/indignation) which are then rewarded by likes and subscriptions. Whereas in traditional dissociative disorders, a traumatic event results in dissociation, which then ignites the formation of a separate ego state, in our current online climate, dissociation can also occur through engagement in e-meeting software (or youtube video creation) or posting on social media, with the resulting digital ego state being born and nourished through online reinforcement.

Disembodiment, loss of self-awareness, and immersion in the ego state are common factors in both traditional and digital dissociation. The same risk applies to both: the over-reliance on one ego state to the detriment of the embodied, unified self.

Social Media: Who's Using Whom?

What happens when we continually enter dissociated ego states and use products that encourage us to forget our bodies and conscious minds? Do we enter a sort of "trance state," more suggestible to shaping by feedback from other users?

From earlier in this article, we know that dissociation results in new ego states, so what kind of self-states are we creating when we continually disconnect from our bodies and more conscious thoughts voluntarily?

Social media and digital content production are released into a base of other users, and then shaped by attention in the form of likes or other indicators of approval. This creates what we could call a "social media behavior bias," in which performance of a stilted ego state or “slice” results in social approval, which is one of the most powerful reinforcers known.

Social media was never going to be neutral or reflective of the entire human personality and experience, once gamification elements such as "likes" were introduced. Whether people are reinforced for their ideal life and learn to continue bragging, or are given attention for sharing negative emotions and therefore pivot further into "rantsonas¹¹," social media creates distinct ego states in a far more accelerated and visible manner than traditional socialization. Social media users are incentivized to post content that receives approval, demonstrates social desirability/popularity, and provokes interest¹², which creates a positivity bias and invites viewers to compare themselves to the filtered and idealized profiles seen online.

These thin ego slices are not the genuine human being who created the profile, but are instead hollow and curated. People may even develop imposter syndrome from comparing themselves to the digital versions of themselves.

Though users are aware of the reality of their lives, and the biased, careful crafting of their own profiles, they may still compare themselves to the manicured, appealing profiles of other users, believing that those social media users enjoy a richer existence than they themselves experience.

Authenticity is an afterthought or even a detriment to digital identity success, so why risk rejection through revealing any perceived flaws or negative aspects of life? The positivity bias of social media skews self-presentation toward ideal representations, leading to a premium upon prestige and superficial glamour¹³.

We can observe that there is a dissociative objectification of the self and resultant comparison of the thin ego slice to other users. This self-objectification is also seen in online dating site behavior, in which users  refer to both themselves as others as commodities in a marketplace¹⁴. This would seem to indicate a dissociated, detached view of others and one's own worth, based sheerly upon objectification.

The Incredible Shrinking Self

What effect does chronic disembodiment have on social media users and content creators? We are aware that depersonalization can accompany increased negative emotions, that the dissociative, distracting elements of social media can lead to reduced happiness¹⁵ and even that smartphone notifications can result in inattention and hyperactivity¹⁶. Once more, we are reminded that dissociation is a common occurrence with digital social media use, and that it coincides with more vivid experience of negative emotion.

A natural question that arises from this: is the repeated dissociation of self caused by digital notifications, social media reading, posting, and e-meeting causing a fragmentation of the self in ways that disintegrate the richness of individual identity? There is evidence that social media use leads to shallow social interactions and a decrease in communication with family members¹⁷. A related question: what is the social, developmental impact of repeated use of the phone and social media as a way to avoid any awkward elements of live, interpersonal communication?

It seems plausible that chronic dissociation and diversion of mental energy to digital representations of self creates thin ego slices that become the baseline model for interpersonal interaction¹⁸.

Habitual turns toward digital selves and leaning away from personal engagement could result in a disconnection from meaningful, dynamic socialization. There is also the related concern that repeated disinhibition of aggressive impulses (i.e. arguing with others via social media or creating content that is based in mean-spirited commentary or pranks) could result in an existential rift between the person’s stated values and those he or she enacts online.

Toward an Integrated Self

According to ego state theory, each state requires mental energy. Both social interaction and somatic awareness of a state can enliven it to activity¹⁹. In other words, if the individual human being dissociates in online social media use or audiovisual content creation, develops a new identity through dissociative imagination, and feeds this new ego state through the approval of others and continued curation, how much energy is left to the authentic self?

If one's entire emotional energy is invested into the maintenance of a certain appearance or thin, performative caricature of the self, which is continually "summoned" by notifications and external reinforcement, how is the integrity of the overall identity preserved? Furthermore, how sustainable is it to objectify the self into ego states akin to slices or threads, which are then put on display for mass evaluation or rejection?

As noted earlier in this article, ego states are roles which accomplish valuable tasks, but which are only limited aspects of the entire self. Just as humor and people-pleasing ego states are not the solution to all situations, an entertaining social media presence or influencer persona is unequipped for the complexities of life's social depths. An individual is a synthesis of several facets, which include work, social attachments, spirituality, among other elements. Social media profiles often tend to "niche" into particular traits, whether fitness, motivational quotes, or other specific fragments. The indivisible self model proposes 5 major factors which comprise an overall wellness factor, including the essential, physical, social, creative, and coping selves²⁰. Social media and digital content personas are simply not equipped to fulfill all of these essences of the identity and yet so much time and effort are dissociated into these cyber-selves.

Perceiving oneself as an integrated person and developing a literacy of the disembodying impact of digital media may be at least ingredients to the antidote for identity disintegration²¹. Through understanding how digital media impacts our self-awareness, we may take the first steps toward developing a repertoire of robust ego states²².

1. Federn, P. 1952, Ego Psychology and the psychoses, E. Weiss (ed.) Basic Books, New York.

2. van der Hart, O., Groenendijk, M., Gonzalez, A., Mosquera, D., & Solomon, R. (2014). Dissociation of the personality and EMDR therapy in complex trauma-related disorders: applications in phases 2 and 3 treatment. Journal of EMDR Practice & Research, 8(1).

3. Emmerson, G. (2003). Ego state therapy. Bethel, CT: Crown House Publishing, Ltd.

4. Important disclaimer: ego states  aren't"alters"or separate personalities as in dissociative identity disorder (DID: formerly known as multiple personality disorder) because individuals with DID usually don't remember their actions among different alters, but we typically remember one ego state's actions across all others. We may wonder "where did that come from?" but we recall the behavior in question.

5. Emmerson, G. (2003). Ego state therapy. Bethel, CT: Crown House Publishing, Ltd.

6. "Dissociation" has become broadly synonymous with  the experience of "numbness" or "freezing," but is instead the initial event itself which creates different self (ego) states, including the state which experiences the numbing or freezing response. It is more accurate to refer to experiencing a feeling state such as numbness as "switching into" the ego state that was created during the traumatic episode.

7. Ciaunica, A., McEllin, L., Kiverstein, J., Gallese, V., Hohwy, J., & Woźniak, M. (2022). Zoomed out: digital media use and depersonalization experiences during the COVID-19 lockdown. Scientific reports, 12(1), 3888.

8. Ciaunica, A., McEllin, L., Kiverstein, J., Gallese, V., Hohwy, J., & Woźniak, M. (2022). Zoomed out: digital media use and depersonalization experiences during the COVID-19 lockdown. Scientific reports, 12(1), 3888.

9. Baughan, A., Zhang, M. R., Rao, R., Lukoff, K., Schaadhardt, A., Butler, L. D., & Hiniker, A. (2022, April). “I Don’t Even Remember What I Read”: How Design Influences Dissociation on Social Media. In Proceedings of the 2022 CHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems (pp. 1-13).

10. Suler, J. (2004). The online disinhibition effect. Cyberpsychology & behavior, 7(3), 321-326.

11. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/rantsona#:~:text=rantsona%20(plural%20rantsonas),or%20discussions%20on%20controversial%20topics.

12. Yau, J. C., & Reich, S. M. (2019). “It's just a lot of work”: Adolescents’ self‐presentation norms and practices on Facebook and Instagram. Journal of research on adolescence, 29(1), 196-209.

13. Schreurs, L., & Vandenbosch, L. (2021). Introducing the Social Media Literacy (SMILE) model with the case of the positivity bias on social media. Journal of Children and Media, 15(3), 320-337.

14. Bonilla-Zorita, G., Griffiths, M. D., & Kuss, D. J. (2021). Online dating and problematic use: A systematic review. International journal of mental health and addiction, 19, 2245-2278.

15. (Brooks, S. (2015) Does personal social media usage affect efficiency and well-being? Comput. Hum. Behav., 46, 26–37  https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2014.12.053.)

16. Kushlev,  K., Proulx,  J. and Dunn,  E. W. (2016) "silence your phones": smartphone notifications increase inattention and hyperactivity symptoms. Proceedings of the 2016 CHI conference on human factors in computing systems, 1011–1020. https://doi.org/10.1145/2858036.2858359.

17. Pantic, I. (2014). Online social networking and mental health. Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking, 17(10), 652–657.

18. It’s relevant to note here that Suler (2004) himself posits there is probably not simply one disinhibited online self, but rather a multiplicity: “a single disinhibited “online self” probably does not exist at all, but rather a collection of slightly different constellations of affect, memory, and thought that surface in and interact with different types of online environments.” The impact on emotional and cognitive function as well as the sustainability of these separate identities deserves greater exploration.

19. Emmerson, G. (2003). Ego state therapy. Bethel, CT: Crown House Publishing, Ltd.

20. Myers, J. E., & Sweeney, T. J. (2004). The indivisible self: An evidence-based model of wellness. Journal of Individual Psychology, 60, 234-244.

21. Schreurs, L., & Vandenbosch, L. (2021). Introducing the Social Media Literacy (SMILE) model with the case of the positivity bias on social media. Journal of Children and Media, 15(3), 320-337.

22. A special acknowledgement of Eleanor Cummins’ work “Our Screens are Making Us Dissociate,” which inspired the development of this article. https://onezero.medium.com/our-digital-devices-have-sparked-a-dissociation-pandemic-46cc18ae0b5b

Here is her Substack account: https://substack.com/@eleanorcummins